a short conversation with Iris

The other day I was feeding the kids their lunch while Timm was on the phone.  After the call was over, he joined us at the table and said that his previous plans for the day had been canceled.  Trent's uncle had died.

Before continuing this story, I have to say, I blame Disney movies for Iris' minor obsession with death and dying.  I know the concept is not fully developed in her mind, but it's in her vocabulary.  And I know she realizes that there is some aspect of "sleep" involved, just not the finality of it.  At this point, I am pretty sure she believes True Love's Kiss is the cure for death.  Anyway, themes of death, killing, and tragedy are all over in just about any Disney movie you can think of.  Maybe she is more fixated on the True Love's Kiss part, but anything to do with dying is a topic of interest to her.  (Creepy).

So when Timm said Trent's uncle had died, Iris immediately perked up.

"Who died?" she asked.

I knew Timm wanted to avoid the topic.  But I figured, why not answer her and use this as a bit of a teachable moment.  She's going to learn firsthand, sooner or later, when my 15 year old dog finally goes.  What's the harm in a little explanation.  "Trent's uncle," I told her.

"Well, where'd he go?" she followed up.

"To be with Jesus," I responded.

Iris, sitting at the table, with her sandwich in hand, looked all around the dining room, squirmed in her chair to see behind her and under the table.  "Where is Jesus?"

"In heaven," I replied.

Iris looked thoughtful as she pondered this information.  She furrowed her brow.  I was almost afraid of what her next question might be, and how to answer it.  I started thinking that I should have just followed Timm's lead and avoided the conversation.  This was starting to get a little too abstract and difficult to explain to a 3 year old.  It was a long silence while Iris considered her next question, and Timm and I exchanged an uncertain glance. 

Finally Iris asked, brow still furrowed and gesturing with her hands, sounding every bit like an adult who knows they've heard the answer before but just needs to double check to make sure it's still true, "When is Asher's birthday?"

Sometimes I wish this kid could stay 3 forever.